Ross... "You have Friends Too..."

“You have friends too...,” blasted Ross in the phone... Ross was a good chaplain and an entertaining, honest and supportive friend when I was teaching... He supported me always when we had a dispute among teachers... He supported me when other department heads attacked me... But regardless Ross and I had a conflict... I had a family and he was single...free...without any social obligations... He wanted us to do whatever he wanted to do without restrictions... But his desire conflicted at times with my family schedule and societal obligations...                           Ross was a intelligent individual... He had learned math without numbers... He prided in that... But he could not comprehend the obligations that another person may have... He was like a child in those moments... and cried foul because of the contradictions with his bachelor kingdom and married social realities... What is worse, he did not have parents or siblings around... and had absolute social freedom... He was responsible for himself only... So we had conflicts and disputes... whether to do or not to do an event... and blasting in my ear, over the phone... "You have friends too..." was one of those occasions... I had declined an opera and he desperately wanted to attend that opera... he was annoyed with me for several days... and then we went for drinks and the opera that he wanted... few days later...!!!                                                   ***                                 I remembered the above... because I have a family guest at my house for a week now... It is family... so I have to tend to my social duties... as conflicting as they may be... In fact, while I am writing this... it is very early in the morning now... and my family guest woke up had his cup of coffee... and right away turned the TV on... We do not have much in common... but there are things that one should not avoid... So now I am going to stop my meditations... contemplation... and go and sit with him... [I will continue later... when I have a chance... Maybe tomorrow...] I do not have anything in common with our guest... Ross is right in this... but I have my social duties... Ross is not right in this ! He does not want to visit exhibits...He does not want to visit art galleries... he likes to visit the malls...admire jewellery... I hate both... I do not even wear my wedding band...! He likes to eat at restaurants... I don't like restaurants... I only order salmon plates... Ross knew that and he always ordered for me... Bars I do not mind... I like to share the ambiance of a bar with friends and family...I would have two or three glasses of whatever... My guest does not appreciate drinks... Opera, theater and classical music are headaches for him...He even does not appreciate old or new movies... He says; "He sleeps after 10-15 mins..." It is sad and contradictory... Why he decided to visit me is still a puzzle... a puzzle that I do not even want to solve...            A famous Armenian author has a book titled... The Hazards of being Polite... The Funny Side of Social duties and Expectations. The book is a satire on our social norms and obligations, "duties" and expectations... I love the book and appreciate its satire of social mores and values... Most of the social expectations is bull-shit... and I do not like them... But no matter what I respect people and at times I sacrifice my time for them... I wanted to visit an exhibit in a library... I wanted to see the photos and paintings... My guest did not want to attend... so we cancelled... and I missed the exhibit...                                                            *** Today my guest departed... Everyone left to their work and I was alone at home... So, guess what... I listened to Rimsky  Scheherazade, 1001 Nights Retold in a Symphony Bedtime stories took on a new meaning for Scheherazade. Her husband, the Sultan, had the nasty habit of marrying a woman at night and killing her in the morning. So Scheherazade thought up a plan. Every night she would tell him a story, and leave it hanging. 1001 captivating stories later, he decided to keep her. I love the music... I love to imagine the stories... and why not make up new stories... adding to the 1001 plus so many more... I love adding up new stories... and sip the vodka and breeze through the music... Korsakov's Scheherazade... I blasted the player... loud... and I poured a glass of vodka... I enjoyed the music and the vodka cleansed the bugs which had accumulated for the past ten days... Ross understands what I mean... Once I told him... "No ice cubes... no water... no orange juice... Just do not contaminate my drink..." I told him..."give me just chilled... ice cold vodka... and that's good enough for me..."  He laughed his attention seeking and grabbing loud laugh... and I enjoyed the chilled drink... warming up inside me... I did the same today... I celebrated my freedom... and the sips brought back memories of Ross and some sanity back inside me... I remembered the Good Old Days... the times that we had together... He was correct in one sense... I "have friends too..." but I cherish my "alone" time... and I think and I write...         I told my student-engineer-friend that as I think by myself... I also write for myself... I do not write for others... the "others" is a by-product of my writing...  Now I am listening to Caucasian Sketches... It is beautiful... so I will stop now... and enjoy the music... The monasteries high up in the mountains... They almost touch God... and staying there for a day or two is heavenly...  Ippolitov-Ivanov is great in the Caucasian Sketches...  Every time I listen to it... I enjoy it more... *** Tomorrow I will post the accumulated notes that I have from the past few days...